Scary Things Come In Pink, Fuzzy Packages
Chapter 11 : For You by Staind
Rating: R
By Rodriguez Anna

> A/N: Wow. Anyway, have fun with life, or it gets boring. You don’t want that. So here’s a short little song fic. It’s the ultimate song for Giovanni’s problems with his family. Giovanni’s pov.

Chapter Eleven: For You by Staind

To my mother, to my father.

It’s your son or it’s your daughter.

Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?

Should I turn this up for you?

Oikawa and Tanaka locked themselves in mama’s room again. I don’t want to know what they are doing. They could be making a bomb, or writing plans to kill me and Angel or making love for all I care. I hate them. Mama says it’ll be okay. She says they need to have time alone together. I don’t care what they do.

Oikawa beat me yesterday. I screamed for mama or even Tanaka, but neither of them came. I think Tanaka held my mama down while Oikawa hit me. Tanaka hates me. And I hate him. So he can do what he wants and I will do what I want. I hope mama doesn’t give him her empire. He’s been pressuring her more for it. I hate him. When Oikawa hit me, Angel tried to help. Oikawa’s bigger than both of us though. Angel is afraid to bite someone because mama says she’ll make him go away if he bites one of us. Angel bit me once, but I gave him permission. I still have the scars from his fangs on my chest. He bit me there so that it wouldn’t show on my neck. Every time I touch the scar, if stings even though he did it a year ago. I wish mama would’ve stopped Oikawa but now I have a big gash in my left arm. I hate Oikawa and Tanaka. I don’t even refer to them as “brother” or “father” anymore.

I sit here locked inside my head.

Remembering everything you said.

The silence gets us nowhere.

Gets us nowhere way too fast.

I hate eating dinner with all of them. It’s so quiet. No one ever has anything to say, unless my mother is asked out work, which she always say is okay, but I know better. I’m sure everyone else knows better too. But besides that, all I ever hear is chewing or a sneeze or cough, something that isn’t social. I try to start conversations but everyone ignores me.

Tanaka called me a “little fucker” at dinner today. My mother shivered, but besides that, did nothing. I love her, but sometimes she can be so blind, deaf and dumb. She knows Oikawa and Tanaka molest me and torture me, yet she fails to do anything. I figure they know they can get away with it. Poor Angel. Oikawa kissed him today for the first time. Oikawa is finally strong enough to control Angel. He was always strong enough to control me. So I know how it feels. And it doesn’t feel good. So I pity him. Angel tried to side with me today. He gives me more credit now. Angel would never be able to protect me but still.

I hate them.

The silence is what kills me.

I need someone here to help me.

But you don’t know how to listen.

And let me make my decisions.

The silence kills me. I want to get along with them. I want them to change. Why couldn’t my family be normal?

I met someone today. She’s beautiful. She says her name is Neesha. I ask her if I’ve seen her before, perhaps in a dream. She says no, very flatly. I think I do know her. She seems so much like me. I think I love her. She’s just a simple Rocket member that asked if I was okay today when I was alone in the lecture room, hiding from Tanaka. She talked to me about everything. She was so understanding.

She even told me that I was going to make a strong, utterly perfect Boss when I grew up. That must be the most uplifting thing I have ever heard in my life. I told her that my chances of being Boss were slim, since my brother and father were fighting hard for the position. She said that there was no competition, as if she knew. She told me that she was psychic and could see the future and the past. She showed me a necklace that was gold plated with a funny little sign in between the gold plates. It was a funny little sign, cross between a sun and a flower. There was a circle in the middle that was yellow and the outside flame/petals were a light, pretty blue. It was very hypnotizing. She said it was for moving in time. How silly. No one can do that!

I sit here locked inside my head.

Remembering everything you said.

The silence gets us nowhere.

Gets us nowhere way too fast.

“You are so stupid!” Tanaka hit me again. I crawled on the floor to get away but stumbled over myself and stopped.

“Mama!” I cried. Mama stood there, watching, biting her nails.

“Please Tan,” She called to my “father” by his pet name. He was not fazed by the words of his wife.

“Why did you bite Oikawa?” Tanaka kicked me.

“I didn’t have any way else to fight him!” I pleaded. Tanaka looked at Oikawa, whom was bleeding from a strange “bite mark” on his arm. Oikawa gave it emphasis by cutting himself. Sure, I bit him. But not that hard.

“I’m taking him to a psych ward, first thing in the morning, Ali!” Tanaka turned to mama. She nodded. My eyes widened. She fell for it. She fell into submission. I was nothing to her anymore. I am alone now.

All your insults and your curses make me feel like I’m not a person.

And I feel like I am nothing.

But you made me so do something.

Cause I’m fucked up.

Because you are.

Need attention.

Attention you couldn’t give.

Neesha visited me every day. She brought my flowers and cookies everyday. She told me stories. She was the mother I never had. I love her. I’m convinced of that. I hope she never leaves me. I want to be with her forever. She cares about me. She couldn’t be too much older than I. She could marry me and control Team Rocket with me. And life would be so happy and fun.

Today, a nurse came in, not Neesha. I asked the nurse where Neesha had gone and the nurse said that there was never any Neesha. Neesha was not a person. After I got out of the psych ward, I checked the Rocket members and Neesha was not one of them. Maybe I am crazy.

I sit here locked inside my head.

Remembering everything you said.

The silence gets us nowhere.

Gets us nowhere way too fast.

I sit here locked inside my head.

Remembering everything you said.

The silence gets us nowhere.

Gets us nowhere way too fast.

Tanaka almost killed me the other night. Mama came in and tried to stop him but he’s so much strong than her, physically. Oikawa helped Tanaka. Mama cried. I just stood still while they beat me. And then Neesha came in. I knew I wasn’t crazy! She stopped Tanaka. I forget how. I can’t remember. Why? Everything seems so hazy. Maybe I was in too much pain to care. He broke my leg and fractured a rib. So much more emotional pain came out of that than physical.

Mama decided to let me go to Pokemon Tech. She said boarding school might be good for me. Of course it will be good for me. I’m getting out of the school for two years.

I checked the records again. No Neesha. I lost her. I need her again.