Scary Things Come In Pink, Fuzzy Packages
Chapter 4 : A Short Few Days In the Life Of Giovanni Rocket (Very Unlike the Rest of the Story . . . My Humor Side Surfaces For the First Time In A Long Time . . . So Forgive Me but I Crave This . . . Wow . . . the Titles Is Friggin’ Long!)
Rating: R By Rodriguez Anna

> Chapter Four: A Short Few Days In the Life Of Giovanni Rocket (Very Unlike the Rest of the Story . . . My Humor Side Surfaces For the First Time In A Long Time . . . So Forgive Me but I Crave This . . . Wow . . . the Titles Is Friggin’ Long!)

Part One: Giovanni Goes To the Store

Giovanni parked his Schigera next to the open space by the handicap place. He didn’t feel like walking a long time. It was too hot to walk much of anywhere. He wore long, khaki shorts, and a black button up shirt . . . regretting that choice today because it was so friggin’ hot outside. But that was his color. Meh. He walked into the store, feeling the air conditioning hit him like a brick. It felt good, but it was a little startling. He grabbed a cart and walked around, specifically to the vegetable area of the store.

He started looking through the celery, a mother and her five year old questioning that. The mother looked at him, realizing he was the leader of the Viridian gym, also remembering hearing bad things about him. Having to do with a gun and six men in a room. He was the only on to come out alive. So she moved from the broccoli area to the peppers. Giovanni, having found the celery that looked the healthiest, he went over to the broccoli. The mother became paranoid, grabbed her peppers and went for the corn. Giovanni grabbed his broccoli and saw the corn. He loved sweet corn more than anything else in the world. So he went over to it, seeing the women with her child. The women freaked and grabbed the pepper spray from her brazier and shot it in his eyes.

“AAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK?!” Giovanni hollered. The women stopped, panting in fear. He kid started crying at the sound of Giovanni’s voice. The women screamed.

Some tough guys in the cereal isle heard the scream and ran to it.

Meanwhile, Giovanni was yelling at the lady, for burning his eyes out. She didn’t want to apologize but she felt threatened. The two “tough guys” saw the lady being yelled at by Giovanni and immediately asked her what the problem was.

She couldn’t really describe what made her do it, since it would’ve sounded really bad, so she just cried. So the guys yelled at Giovanni, Giovanni crying and rubbing his eyes.

“She attacked me!” Giovanni pointed to the women. Or at least who he thought was her. Instead he pointed at her kid. The guys broke into an uncontrollable laughter. Giovanni made it to the bathroom somehow, washing his eyes out, them still burning a little.

He sighed, taking his cart to the diary area. He grabbed some 2% milk, seeing a very familiar face next to him, also getting milk.

“Hey Giovanni,” Delia Ketchum said semi happily.

“Hey, Delia,” Giovanni said, unamused, grabbing his milk and putting it in the cart.

“Why haven’t you tried to find me?” Delia asked him, coming too close to him. Giovanni glared at her.

“Hey, lady! You kicked me out! I didn’t kick you out!” Giovanni snapped. Delia knew that. She was just ashamed of herself.

“I have your son,” Delia said, knowing that if she didn’t tell him now, she’d never get the chance. Giovanni looked at her, very shocked.

“A son?” Giovanni gasped. Pay dirt. Finally.

(A/N: Okay, Giovanni, let’s get something straight you lying son of a bitch! You said you never eloped with Ms. Ketchum!

Giovanni: I never eloped with her! We had a fling!

A/n: DAMMIT GIOVANNI! I hate this story! It writes itself! And then when I find out things that happened that I didn’t want to happen . . . urgh! That makes me mad! I hate it so badly when people insist that Ash is your friggin’ son!

Giovanni: You can’t blame me! She was hot back then!

A/N: Shut it. I don’t wanna hear you talk about your sex life again, butt munch!

Giovanni: sarcasm Wow. Butt munch. I feel so offended.

A/N: Die, clown!

Giovanni: Please excuse her, audience . . . if there is one besides her friends . . ., she’s a little cranky today.

A/N: I HATE TEAM ROCKET!

Giovanni: Now that was just low.

A/N: I can go lower!

Giovanni: Any lower and you’ll be blowing me.

A/N: WHAT?! I’LL KILL YOU! K I I I I I I L L YOU!

Giovanni: I have sources and you don’t! Ha ha!

A/N: I wish I controlled your life. . .

Giovanni: I’m glad you don’t! If you did, you’d have Godzilla walk through my house!

A/N: That sounds like a spiffy idea.

Giovanni: Now you’re getting ridiculous.

A/N: ME? RIDICULOUS?! HELL NO! I’m not the one that writes down that Mewtwo used his psychic power to look at you naked!

Giovanni: snickers Yeah, I don’t care if that was dissing me. That was freakin’ hilarious. Thanks Cosmic Mewtwo. You made me laugh my ass off. It was a good day after that.

A/N: I second that. Wait! I can’t ever agree with you! No! I’m melting!

Giovanni: watches her sink to the floor, very unamused Why do I have to live inside your head? Why can’t someone else still keep my spirit alive even when Pokemon isn’t cool?

A/N: Quiet, pig! You can’t say you know that you’re fictitious and that Pokemon isn’t cool!

Giovanni: I speak the truth!

A/N: No you don’t you piece of crap! You said you didn’t elope with Ms. Ketchum!

Giovanni: blood vessel in forehead I DIDN’T!

A/N: Whatever dude. Talk to the hand because the head is too dumb to comprehend.

Giovanni: pause . . . . . . . . . . Wow.

A/N: Maybe we should get back to the story . . .

Giovanni: Hell no! I just got shot with pepper spray, bitch! I just KNOW you’re gonna pull more of this crap on me!

A/N: Stop being so negative.

Giovanni: Then you go in there! pushes her in his place)

Spectra16 sat there, wondering what the hell just happened. Her eyes burned like crap man!

“AHH! GIOVANNI! I’LL KILL YOU!” Spectra screamed. Giovanni snickered from Spectra’s seat at the laptop, writing down everything. Even this! Hi mom! Hi Neesha! I’m so kick ass now! Ha ha! I’m in control now! Woot! Word. I love all the pretty ladies!

Part Two: Spectra16 Gets Even

(A/N plays “Because of You” by Nickelback. Muahaha!)

Spectra takes out a machine gun and shoots everyone in the building for no good reason, trying to find a loop hole in this fake Pokeman world! MUHAHAHA! She’ll never figure it out, stupid head.

“GIOVANNI! SHUT IT, PUNK!” Spectra16 tries to scare me. What a loser!

“I’LL KILL YOU AND YOUR CHINESE MIND GAMES!” Spectra yells again at the sky. Okay, now she’s just getting annoying. So I’m gonna take away all of her clothes.

Spectra16, is yes, very naked, standing in the Pick N’ Save parking lot.

“That was low,” Spectra sighs. Strangely, Giovanni let her have the machine gun. Spectra takes a guy hostage and tells him to give her his clothes.

“Do you need the underwear too?” The man, frightened to death asked her.

“Nah. Keep em’,” Spectra said. I’m gonna hit Neesha with a piano. So a piano drops out of the sky and lands on Neesha, who know has little stars circling her head. She gets up from under the piano, a bit shaken, heading for Giovanni car.

“You wouldn’t dare!” I yell at Spectra. Spectra takes a rock and scratches the paint on my car! That little creep! (DJ for this story plays “Action” from Powerman 5000) Spectra takes out a random sledge hammer and starts destroying the car. I cringe, very unhappy that she’s ruining my very favorite car. That little ass. I wish she was my kid.

Giovanni goes down to stop her. Spectra sees him and grabs him by his collar.

“I WANNA GO BACK! THIS DOES SUCK NOT BEING IN CONTROL!” Spectra cried.

“I know, I know. I win,” Giovanni says proudly.

“Wait, who’s writing the story now?” Spectra asked him.

“Your little brother,” Giovanni says, not listening to himself. Both Giovanni and Spectra scream. He he he! I rule baby! Forget Giovanni disagreeing with his son, this is friggin’ awesome! I think I’ll write a story of my own!

Part Three: Giovanni Goes To the Bank

Giovanni rode his helicopter to the bank. Um . . . the Swiss bank. In Switzerland. ‘Nuff said.

Part Four: Giovanni Intrudes On the Artemis Fowl Show

“Welcome to the Artemis Fowl Show!” Artemis greeted. The audience claps. “Who’s our guests today, Spectra16?”

“Um . . . we only have one,” Spectra said quietly.

“Well . . . I know our budgets suck . . . even if I am a millionaire. So who is it?” Artemis asked, patiently.

“Um . . . Giovanni?” Spectra said, reluctantly.

“Why him?” Artemis asked. Giovanni popped out of thin air, into the guest seat.

“Holy fudge monkeys!” Giovanni exclaimed. He covered his mouth.

“What the frick? What can’t I swear?” He screamed.

“We have a five second delay and censors. We can change your life,” Artemis said, as if he said it everyday. Giovanni freaked.

“So, tell us about your new movie!” Spectra jumped up and down in her seat.

“What new movie?” Giovanni asked.

“Mewtwo Returns . . . or whatever the heck it’s called,” Artemis said.

“Fudge. Fudge! FUDGE! Why can’t I say fudge?! Poop! HEY! P O O O O O O P! HELP ME!” He yelled in desperation, missing his pottie mouth.

“Just answer the doggone question!” Artemis said, getting his swears censored too. “That makes me mad.”

“I uh . . . Mewtwo Returns? It’s bad! Don’t see it! I get mind wiped!” Giovanni had more swears blanked and covered over. Artemis patted him on the back.

“I know how you feel, brotha’,” Artemis used his thug accent.

“Let go onto the interesting poop! Let’s talk about Kerry vs. Bush!” Spectra said happily. Griff from Red Vs. Blue stood up in the audience.

“I VOTED FOR NATER! I HATE YOU ALL!” Griff yelled and sat down.

“I feel your pain dude,” Spectra saluted him.

“Who cares about the election? They both are bad!” Giovanni yelled profanities that were not heard but you could see his mouth move.

In the control room, stood Lawrence IV, the director, with his black cape that floated. He conversed with his control panel expert.

“Put a censor on Giovanni’s mouth. That’ll teach him,” Lawrence said. The control guy did.

All of a sudden, a big burly dude, known as Butler, came to Giovanni, tied him to the chair and taped a black piece of cardboard to his mouth.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Giovanni asked, still using blanked out profanities.

“Our audience can’t learn these words. Or else . . . bad things will happen,” Butler said threateningly.

“I dislike this immensely,” Giovanni said. I decided to spare him of his misery. Since I guess he’d rather be fighting the forces of fate and having sex. Meh. I hate him.